He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
