why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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