I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
