no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
