weddingsv make me drug and hornr
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
