then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
