My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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