Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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