Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
