She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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