Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
