All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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