i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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