Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
