Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
