just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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