no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I want her autograph on my taint
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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