You were right. It hurts to walk today.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
