Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize