Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Alive.
So much puke
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
