YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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