The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
