The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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