Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
