it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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