I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
