Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize