no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
