ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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