i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
