he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
