I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
