We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
