apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
