I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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