I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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