I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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