Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
