If that was your dad, he is hot
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
