you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
