It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
