So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
