i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
