is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
