i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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