Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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