I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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