dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
