I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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