i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
