I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
