Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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