I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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