just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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