yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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