I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
