Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
