and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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