Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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