Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
